Part III: What Happens a Cappella? The BIG Diet: Week #5 (Chapter 63)


I
’m getting restless with the group therapy sessions.

When Brian – he’s the cute therapist – tells us to close our eyes and think about running on a warm, sandy beach, grains of wet sand stuck between our toes, all I can think about is a large, ripe banana, a brilliant yellow banana, just before it gets those brown spots.

I don’t even like bananas that much.

But now they’re all I think about.

I even buy a bottle of imitation banana extract and dump two caps into my shakes, but it isn’t the same; it’s not the taste I crave – it’s the texture, the stringy, pulpy texture, the cool banana squishing between my teeth.

I call Diane, the nurse, and ask permission to dump a banana into the blender – just this once –

She says, “No, that would compromise the diet.”

She’s right: I might lose control if I eat that banana, so I obey.

I drink five diet sodas instead; by the end of the day, my body feels waterlogged.

Shel wants to make love, but he’s got to be kidding.

I feel like a waterbed ready to explode.

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