Part V: Snakes – Snake #3 (Chapter 92)

“Sammy,” Mother says the next day while the kids nap. “Monique can get you some diet pills.”

Diet pills?

“I don’t know what Ma’s been feeding you....” She pats my stomach and checks out my back side. “Anyway, you’d be a knockout if you could shed about 20 pounds.”

“Who’s Monique?”

“Oh, just my best friend. She lives in Bel Air. Her house mate –” Mother clears her throat “– is a nurse.”

“Gee, Mom, I just don’t know –”

“This is California, honey. Men like their women sleek and gorgeous. You’ve got to crush the competition.”

“Nana says it’s not safe to take pills without a prescription.”

Mother rolls her eyes. “Would I give you something dangerous?”

I need to think about that. But Mother means well, though I’m still not sure about popping diet pills, especially ones dispensed from a stranger who happens to know a nurse who might have stolen the pills.

I hated them when I was young; after all, they obviously have not worked. And they made me half crazy, keeping me up well into the night; I cringe at those sleepless nights, when my head and heart pounded from the night terrors: cancer, polio, nuclear war, Nikita Khrushchev, communists, death – darkness –

The dark has never been my friend.

– Random thoughts, one after another, in rapid succession, and I couldn’t stop them. Tossing and turning in my bed, begging and praying for sleep to come. Finally, at first light, my eyes growing heavy – when it was time to get up for school.

No one could figure out why I would fall asleep during arithmetic class, but then, no one bothered to ask me about my sleeping habits. I was too young to make the connection – until I had been taking the pills for about three months.

Then I had to take downers at night.

I am now a night owl: do I prowl half the night because of those childhood pills?

As if she has read my mind, Mother says, “Why don’t you just try them for three weeks? You should be able to drop 20 pounds easily. And then you’ll never ever have to take them again.”

I want so much for this summer to work out, to finally win my mother’s love, just like Junior has obviously done in his short four years. And if being skinny is a prerequisite, well, that’s a price I’ll have to pay.

“Okay, I’ll give it a shot.”

“Good.” Mother picks up the phone and dials.