Part IV: Spin (Chapter 71)
“These
are yours,” he says, handing a packet to me.
Old letters tied with a red satin ribbon, the kind that Auntie
used for her famous ribbon dresses, the ones that crinkled when she moved ‒ the ones
she wore to Mass every Sunday.
“Where’d you find these?”
Joe just shrugs and smiles. “Things just find their way into
my chest. Anyway, I thought you might like to have ‘em.”
“Thanks.”
“Sure. No problem.” He runs off with a poster of Uncle Charles,
a picture taken some time back in the 60’s when his hair was still black and
his hairline a lot lower; in the picture, Charles is posing with a Cuban cigar
between gleaming teeth, a bulbous microphone in his hand, and a reel-to-reel
tape recorder in his lap.
Uncle Charles, the gewgaw man. Today, he plays with VCRs,
cameras, and camcorders. Strangely enough, though, Uncle Joe’s the one who’s
tinkering with the Karaoke equipment.
I untie the ribbon. It crinkles, even after all these years.
I pull an envelope out at random and peek inside.
Old birthday cards from Auntie.
Old voices:
*
Hollywood, California
Oct.
1958
Dear Little Sammy Cuddler,
Happy birthday! So you are 8 years old. Such
a little lady, I hear. Buy something pretty (not candy) with the enclosed
check. You’re my little cuddler, and I want you to be happy.
Are you still fat?
Your Nana told me she took you to Dr. Noonan
for your check-up and he said you had to lose 10 lbs. by Xmas. Sweetheart,
that’s only two and a half months away and you know how Santa don’t like to
give presents to little fat girls. I’m sure he wants to bring you many pretty
dresses but his elves don’t know how to make Lane Bryant sizes.
Besides, how would Santa deliver all those
big clothes?
Saw Hilda today. Remember her? She went on a
crash diet last year and lost 50 lbs. in two months. Now she’s gained it all
back and then some. So sad. You don’t want to be big like her. I hope you can
lose that awful fat by Xmas.
Heard from your Daddy Platts yesterday.
Says he misses you and your mama a lot, but
that for now it’s best he and baby Ruby move to Arkansas.
Your little sister will stay with Daddy’s
mother and sister, at least for the next few months
Well, must run. Have a brunch date with
Vesta. We’re going to the pancake place. I know how you like their
Pigs-in-a-Blanket. Maybe if you’re thin next summer, you can come to California
and I’ll take you there. And then we can cuddle.
Love to Nana and Pappa.
Love, Your Auntie
*
No, you cannot have any
more popcorn. If you want anything else, there’s celery and carrots in the
fridge. I sliced them just for you. If you don’t eat them, I’ll just have to
throw them out, and we can’t afford to waste good food. How many times do I
have to tell you Pappa don’t make much money these days? You know what Dr.
Noonan says: you got to eat vegetables and lean meat and stay away from all
that butter, sugar, and starch. I don’t care
what Dr. Noonan weighs. He’s a man and it don’t matter what he weighs. But you’re a girl, and men,
even fat ones, don’t like fat girls. And if you don’t lose all that weight,
you’ll never catch a husband. And if
you get too fat, you’ll get lazy. I see it already. Your room looks like a
pigsty. Why, I found all those Bing candy wrappers and sunflower seed shells
everywhere. Is that how you spent your birthday money?
Of course your mama still
loves you. Maybe the present got
lost in the mail. These things happen sometimes. I just think it wouldn’t be a
good idea to call her right now. Auntie says your mama’s been feeling a little
punk lately and needs her rest.
Maybe at
Christmas.
Must you kids always
fight? Danny, you go sit in the
swivel chair. Sammy, you wash those dishes or else. Sammy! You heard me! Danny!
I’m going to send you home if you don’t stop calling your cousin names. And
you, young lady, stop your whining. Danny don’t mean nothing. He’s just fooling
you. You take everything so serious. And you,
shut up! Sammy, get into the kitchen!
Here,
I’ll dry. Oh, this towel’s soggy. Honey, hand me that one next to you. Don’t
pay no mind to Danny. Boys will be boys. If he didn’t like you, he wouldn’t say
nothing to you. But, you know, he’s just saying what others are thinking. Just
because most people don’t say nothing doesn’t mean they don’t notice. They got
eyes, you know. Don’t you want to grow up and have a nice husband and family?
This pot’s got goo on it; do it over. How many times do I have to tell you
about your sloppy ways? I’m just trying to raise you right. Make up for what
happened to your mother. And you’re just like your mama, except she wasn’t fat.
And look where it got her. Time to change the rinse water. See that soap scum
on the top? You don’t want to get all of us sick, do you?
Did you
take your pill yet? I don’t care if
it keeps you up at night. Besides, Dr. Noonan can give you a pill to make you
sleep. I’ll call him today. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT YOU TAKE THOSE PILLS. They’ll
curb that monstrous appetite of yours.
Don’t forget to write
Auntie the thank-you note. Here it is, only one month until Christmas, and you
haven’t even thanked her for your birthday present yet. Whatever is going to
become of you?
You must
wait 20 minutes before you can eat. Even lettuce. You have to let the pill work
first so you don’t go out of control. Girl, you sure could use some
self-control these days. You know, Gluttony is a mortal sin. A capital sin. The worst kind. Except for Lust, but you’re too young to know about
that. You’ll go to Hell for sure if you don’t stop stuffing yourself. I just
don’t know what to do about you. If you keep on going the way you’re going,
they’ll need a derrick to carry you around. Tsk, tsk.
Take your pill; eat your
lettuce; don’t wear that – it’s too tight – your belly hangs out; drink your
water; no, you can’t have any pop, it’s pure sugar; don’t jiggle your butt like
that; do you really think those
yellow pants look good on you?; if you insist on eating Chicken Noodle soup all
the time, you’ll have to learn how to light the pilot – I’m tired of washing
out the coffee pot after every other meal; you know you can’t buy a boy’s bike
– because the bar might hurt your bubo – I can’t tell you how, you’re too young
– no, you haven’t done nothing wrong; Dr. Noonan says you can’t eat peanut
butter until you lose three more pounds; don’t fight with your cousins and
don’t tattle on no one – it don’t look good; always listen to the Sisters, they
know what’s best for your soul; by next year, you’ll need a girdle for sure and
maybe even a bra; if Father Salvatore says no more black patent leather shoes,
then he must have a good reason – how would I know? You just obey and don’t ask
questions; I think it’s time you stopped sleeping with your grandpa – no, you
haven’t done nothing wrong, it’s just time you start staying in your own bed at
night; go to Mass; go to Confession; say a rosary; say, “Now I lay me down to
sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if I should die before I wake, I pray
the Lord my soul to take – there are four corners on my bed, there are four
angels overhead – Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, bless this bed that I lay on”;
Jesus loves all the little children, even little chubby ones, but he likes the
humble ones the best; yes, you are my favorite child – I always like the one
I’m with the best; be careful around your cousins, especially Danny – no, you
haven’t done nothing wrong – no, I can’t tell you what to watch for, you’re too
young – just be careful; don’t eat chocolate, you’ll break out in pimples,
maybe not right away, but when you get older; where on earth did you get that
peanut butter cup?; for God’s sake, are you EVER
going to be thin?
*
Hollywood, California
Oct. 1962
Dear Little Skinny Cuddler,
I
guess you’re not so little anymore. 12 already.
I hear you’re thin again. I’m so proud of
you! Now you can buy some pretty skinny dresses with the enclosed check.
I’m looking forward to your visit next
summer. We’ll go to Farmer’s Market for Enchiladas and Humphrey’s Bakery for a
fancy cake. Remember how much you liked Farmer’s Market? Now that you’re thin,
we can enjoy nice restaurants, not that awful diet food you had to eat for
three months. So don’t get fat in the next nine months. I know you can keep the
weight off because your Nana says the thyroid and diet pills are working just
fine. Sorry to hear about Dr. Noonan. Your Nana said it was a heart attack but
I hear your new doctor is young & cute.
Watch out! (ha, ha).
Your boyfriend Kevin sounds like a very nice
boy.
Does he know you like him?
Saw your mother the other day. She came out
from the valley for a visit and we went to lunch at the Hungry Tiger. She eats
like a bird! She’s got a new boyfriend, wonder if she’ll marry this one. Sounds
nice enough, though. His name is Johnny Lawrence. Sells used cars and plays
horn in a jazz band where your mama used to work.
She invited me to the club on Fri. nite, but
I already have a date with Rob and Randy–they’re kind of swishy, I know, but
they’ve got a beautiful new home in Beverly Hills. They asked about you.
Your mama looked real good, good color, and
says she’s not drinking anymore. Still smokes like a stack, though. She asked
about you and wonders why you don’t answer her letters. Said she was going to
send you a nice birthday present.
Did she?
I haven’t heard from Dean Platts, not since
his mother died and his sister Vivian took in Ruby permanently. Don’t know why
he and Vivian don’t answer my letters. Maybe they moved and didn’t receive my
letters. I’m sure when the time is right, Nana will take you to Arkansas to see
little Ruby.
Thank you for the pretty drawing. Kind of
funny, though, with all those blue squares and triangles. Maybe you should take
some art lessons to improve your technique.
Had Vesta, Dame, Hilda, and Jack over for
dinner last week. Poor Hilda. She must weigh over 300 lbs. now. I grilled a
thick juicy steak and tossed a nice big salad with homemade ranch dressing and
baked some gigantic Idahos in the oven. Served with sour cream and chives. For
dessert, we had New York style cheesecake with cherries. They all loved it! Got
so many compliments. Wish you could have been here to enjoy it.
Donald and I are going to Vegas in two weeks.
You remember Donald, don’t you? I borrowed his Cadillac one time when you were
4 and you peed all over the front seat. I was absolutely mortified! It’s a
wonder he still speaks to me. You know, you never do get rid of that smell.
Anyway, Donald owns part of a casino in Carson City and has to settle some
business there.
So he invited me along and we’ll hit some of
the big casinos and shows in Vegas. Will send you a pretty card.
Tell me what you’d like to do next summer so
I can plan our itinerary. I’m planning a 6-week cruise to Australia in August
and September so plan to come in June. Would you like to see the La Brea Tar
Pits and Forest Lawn? I know you’ll want to go to Disneyland and Knott’s Berry
Farm. I look forward to cuddling with my skinny little cuddler. Love to Nana
and Pappa.
Love, Your Auntie
*
Honey, I just don’t think
that’s the right dress for you. You can’t wear such a bright red to school, the
nuns would absolutely die. It’s cut too skimpy, and you’re only 12. You’ll have
boys all over you. No, you haven’t done nothing wrong, it’s just that dresses
cut like this attract certain boys, and you don’t want to put yourself in a
predicament. I think it means “situation.” No, I can’t tell you anymore – you’re
too young. How about this nice linen navy? Oh, hell, we’ll look at dresses
later. Let’s go over to lingerie, your bra is cutting into your midriff.
Let’s
see...36-B, 36-C, 38-A, 38-B – ah, here we are, 38-C. It is not too big. You have to buy bras that
hook on the first clasp so you don’t outgrow them right away. How many times do
I have to tell you that?
For God’s
sake, can’t we ever go shopping without all this hassle?
I’m all
in. Let’s go for a snack.
Are you absolutely sure
you want those fries? Why not just a loose meat sandwich and a root beer float?
I hate all that old fried stuff.
Oh, okay.
You’re
keeping the weight off pretty good, so I guess it’s okay, just this once.
I’ll just
have a root beer and a loose meat with a dill slice.
I need to
talk to you anyway without your Pappa around. No, you haven’t done nothing
wrong, I just want to talk girl stuff with you. Soon, you’re going to be a
woman, and you must know some things, you know, about menstruation...
How did
you know about that, anyway? Humph, I never did like that Charlene friend of
yours anyway.
Pass the
ketchup.
Bought a
kit for you. Comes with a booklet, a special belt, and, you know, pads. You’ll
know what to do when the time comes.
Just read
the instructions.
Where on
earth did you ever hear about tampons? Under no circumstances are you to use
tampons. Because they’ll hurt your bubo, and I can’t tell you why. You’re still
too young.
Just do
as I say.
Don’t gobble your food like a pig, and do you really need that big glob of ketchup on your plate?
