Part VII: Time Warp 2000’s – Cut! #1 (Chapter 103)


O
ctober 31, 1987

Dear Mr. G. Byrnes:

I cut out your ad in our local paper about six months ago and have been carrying it around ever since.

Are you still interested in a female pen pal? If so, you may write me at the address in the letterhead.

I’m sorry about the P.O. box; one needs to be careful these days.

Please tell me about yourself but no photograph, please.

One more thing: I must know what you’re in for, even if it’s murder, and when you expect to get out.

No matter what you have done, if you’re sorry now, I can forgive.

This I believe: no one is irredeemable.

Sincerely,

Ms. S. A. Weiss

*


(Auntie, gray haired and decked out in her signature red ribbon dress, pearls, rings on both hands, and Harlequin sunglasses, enters from stage left and moves center and down stage. She’s obviously upset and angry about something. To the Audience:)

Rosalyn [Rosie], I am positively, absolutely mortified.

What you have done is beyond my comprehension.

I have never heard of such a disgusting situation, what you have done.

Your mother is absolutely heartbroken.

She will never get over this.

It hurts me tremendously to see how much your mother, my baby sister, suffers from your unspeakable act.

Lucky for you, Kat will forgive because she loves you fiercely and would never do to you what you have done to Candy.

I just hope your horrid action doesn’t kill her and your dad. If it does, you’ll have to live with it.

How could you tear this family apart like this?

If I live to be a million, I will never understand any of this.

Family is all we have.

Have you no shame?

The Bible says I shouldn’t judge you, but, in my heart, I know you will have to answer to God, our Father, He will sit in judgment and punish you accordingly.

I have loved you since the day you were born. I have taken you into my home, given you presents, added you to my will.

But now you have killed any love, Rosalyn, forever and an eternity.

Your shocking behavior gives me no choice but to cut you from my life and will, which fills my heart with great sorrow.

Rosalyn Mallory Kane, as of yesterday, you are no longer named in my will.

Most important, you have been excised from my life.

Do not attempt to get in touch with me or try to get in touch with me through Unkie. We will rip up your letters, unread.

(Pause. Auntie scans the Audience. With an emphasis that doesn’t feel quite genuine:)

If only I could change any of this, I would give up all my riches and live in a shack.

(As if in deep thought, Auntie pauses. Then she continues:)

Perhaps even a prison cell.

(Brenda Lee’s “I’m Sorry” plays. As the music fades mid-song, the lights dim. Darkness. Curtain.)


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